Wednesday, February 15, 2012

European Tour Journal - Day 7 - Scandi Drive

Day 7 (January 1st): Oslo to Hamburg Drive

We roll out of Yenni's place at 9 AM on New Years Day to discover that we're not all there. Band members scattered all over Oslo during the previous night. We catch word that some are up the street, others crashed with Kenneth from Endless Tinnitus. After 2 hours of sleuthing, txting, and aimless driving around Oslo, we find everyone and head to load out.

Back to the studio to find clothing and gear we shedded the night before. Instead of making the friendly attempts to cross the language barrier, the americans and europeans have devolved into grunting and pointing. Everyone slides into the van, and we set the GPS for Hamburg.

The drive will take us the long way around the Scandinavian states. Ya know how Europe has that cock-n-balls on top of it? Well Oslo is about at the urethra, and we have to drive down and off the underside of it's baggy foreskin. 14 hours. Luckily Europe's cock is the most beautiful in the world. The drive out of Norway is through long strobing tunnels that feel like riding in a Ridley Scott film, the fog is thick on Lake Vanem, and we're driving across some of the tallest bridges in the world, spanning deep valleys with vibrant villages at their base. It's a perfect driving day.

Will, No More Art's only american member, insists on having his annual Burger King meal. We pull off the freeway and spend a good hour basking in the bottomless fountain soda and dipping fries in weird sauces with strange fucking consonants in their name.

Make it to Hamburg, everyone peels out of the van. Doom Town is welcomed with a hearty meal by our hostess Nagi, then we watch Uncle Buck.

TOMORROW: The Gun Club w/ Warsong

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